Streptococcal Sore Throat
by Esme Plutonian
Summary: Fluffy. Bella gets sick and Edward takes care of her, but then her sore throat gets a little more serious when Carlisle examines her thoroughly. Who knew losing your tonsils could be so much fun? Set before Eclipse. 'T' for safety.
1. Strep Throat

**NEW AUTHOR'S NOTE: **

Hello new and old followers! It has been literal years since I have updated anything, as you know. I have recently decided I want to start practicing character development and story continuity again (as that hasn't been my strong suit) thus I am going to FINALLY finish "Remember Me"!

If you have read all of my stories you will note that I have taken "Rubberband Wars" down. There may be a day that I repost it, but I felt that it was sub-par and needed an entire revamp. (Pun intended.)

I know that "Streptococcal Sore Throat" is a separate story from "Remember Me", but I'm hoping that all of you would be kind enough to give it a shot and let me know what you think. If it goes over well as far as getting good feedback for coming back to this site, I will continue to write! More stories like this one. Funny, fluffy etc. Who knows, maybe I'll even add a bonus chapter to this story!

Thank you, all of you, for your continued support and I hope to hear from you guys soon!

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**Author's Note:** I'm really sick right now, so that's what inspired this. Originally it was going to be a one-shot, but I didn't want to end it like I would have, so it'll just have a few chapters.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Twilight'.

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"101.3," Edward said, grimacing, after he felt my forehead.

"Shouldn't you check with a thermometer?" I instantly regretted my question. Of course he wouldn't need a thermometer. He just smirked and raised an eyebrow at me. I let out a huff and pushed my comforter off of me for the third time. My body was rapidly changing temperature. Edward wanted me to stay covered, so he compromised by pulling the sheets up close to my chin. He tucked me in and kissed my forehead.

"I feel like a mummy," I pouted. He chuckled and kissed me on the lips. I started to sit up so I could deepen the kiss but his hands stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Bella, please lie down. How many times do I have to ask you? You need your rest." I sighed and lay down like he asked me.

"Edward, I-"

"Shh," he interrupted, and before I could blink he was out of sight. _Charlie_. I grunted, aggravated. Charlie knocked once and then cracked the door.

"Why are you still in bed, Bella? You're going to be late for school," he said, matter-of-factly.

"I don't feel so hot, dad. I think I'm going to stay home today." He looked me over suspiciously.

"Now… This wouldn't be some ploy to just hang out with Edward, would it?" I rolled my eyes and grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table to my left.

"Come on, dad, really?" I asked, and then loudly blew my nose. I hated doing that knowing that Edward could hear, but there was no way of avoiding it. Being sick was just another side effect of being _human_.

"Yeah, well. You look pretty bad I guess."

"Gee, thanks." I retorted sarcastically. My voice sounded scratchy. He chuckled and walked over to me to feel my forehead.

"Ooh, Bella, you are warm. You need me to call in?" My eyes got huge and I silently prayed that if God had any mercy on me at all, to let my father go into work.

"It's cool, dad. I can take care of myself," I replied quickly. He looked at me suspiciously again, scrutinizing my face, and then turned to walk toward the door.

"Please call me if you need anything, Bells. Don't bother yourself with cooking, okay? I'll pick up some soup on the way home. Get better."

"Okay dad, thanks." The instant he closed my bedroom door, Edward was at my side again. I heard Charlie trudge down the stairs and then front door open and slam closed behind him.

"I'll be right back. I'm going put some hot tea and soup on for you." Before I could protest, Edward lightly kissed my nose and was out of sight. I pulled the comforter up to my chin, suddenly chilled, and I took the rubber band that was holding my hair up out and set it down on my nightstand. I began to drift off to sleep, and then woke myself up with a fit of coughing. Edward was back at my side.

"Are you okay, love?" I nodded my head in reply. He placed the back of his hand to my cheek.

"Your temperature has gone down a couple tenths of a point."

"Ah, improvement," I said, sarcastically. He chuckled.

"I'll be right back. Your soup is almost finished." After he left I shut my eyes and focused solely on clenching and unclenching one part of my body at a time to relax like Alice said to do during meditation when she attempted to teach me yoga. What a disaster that was… I still owe Esme for a vase that I ran into, unable to balance during the warrior two position. She insisted not to worry, but I felt terrible.

I pulled the covers over my face and concentrated. First I flexed my toes, then my calves, thighs, stomach… arms…

I heard the teapot whistle and my eyes fluttered open slightly from a light sleep with no dreams. I sat up on my arms and sniffled. My head was now pounding.

"How are you feeling?" Edward appeared next to me and did a quick examination.

"The same, but now I have a headache." I fell back onto my pillow with my hands over my eyes and he left me for half a second. When he returned, he had a tray with chicken noodle soup, crackers that were set neatly around the plate under the bowl, hot tea and two small, white pills. He set the tray over my lap and I gratefully swallowed the pills.

"Thank you," I said with a cough.

"You're welcome. Eat, please," he replied sternly.

"You know, you really shouldn't miss school on account of me. People will notice if we're both out," I said while slurping a noodle.

"Less talking, more eating. And you shouldn't care what anyone thinks."

"You do."

"I don't care, I just know." I rolled my eyes and crunched the crackers into my soup, then took a sip of my tea. The heat felt good on my swollen throat. I tried to smile but it hurt the muscles in my face. Edward swung his feet up onto the bed and put his arm around me to support me while I ate.

Halfway through my soup it wasn't so appetizing anymore, and my stomach lurched. I slapped my hand over my mouth and I knew I wouldn't make it all the way to the bathroom by myself. Edward, knowing what I needed and probably not wanting to clean vomit from the floor, picked me up and ran me to the bathroom. He sweetly held my hair back while I regurgitated the minuscule amount of food in my poor stomach.

As I was spitting the toothpaste out of my mouth afterward, Edward sighed.

"Bella, I know you'll probably want to protest, but I'm worried about you. I think we should go see Carlisle." I just nodded my head my head in agreement. We went back into my room and I pulled a hoodie over my head. Edward grabbed my cell phone from the bedside table and slipped it into his pocket in case Charlie called. He scooped me into his arms and walked me outside to the Volvo. I rested my head against his chest and then accidentally coughed all over his shirt. I looked up to him horrified, and he just laughed and set me in the passengers seat.

"Do you want the air on?" he asked, concerned, while getting into the car. I shook my head no. I was scared that if I opened my mouth, another wave of vomit would spew.

"Would you like the heat on?" I shook my head again in reply and closed my eyes. Edward was driving less like a maniac than usual, but I could still add motion sick to my checklist of ailments today.

"Alright, room temperature it is," he declared with a laugh, obviously unsure of what I wanted. I smiled apologetically.

I must have dozed off again, because I awoke to darkness and a large icepack on the side of my body. Edward must have placed it there because of my temperature. I opened my eyes slightly and glanced to my right.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked. I laughed to myself. Edward was the icepack… I don't know how I missed that.

"Better," I lied. I didn't know how long I slept, but I sounded awful. I made an effort to turn my head and look out the window. Pitch black.

"It's roughly eleven o'clock." He said, knowing exactly what I was about to ask. I instantly panicked. He heard my heartbeat spike before I even said anything.

"Calm down, Bella. Alice has everything taken care of. Charlie agreed that it would be better for you if you were under Carlisle's watch. He dropped off some soup for you this afternoon." I eyed him speculatively. "He also thinks I'm out of town, much to Carlisle and Esme's displeasure," he added with a smirk. I smiled. I knew there was no way Charlie would comply unless something like that was included.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked, sitting up. I attempted to clear my throat.

"You have strep throat, but you've slept most of it off and it should be gone in a couple days." I scooted closer to him.

"So I get to be with you for two whole days?"

"Three." He smiled wickedly. I flashed him a wide grin and yawned and it felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I figured it was from my muscles tightening from all of the profuse vomiting. I grimaced unwillingly. He frowned and left his room for a quarter of a second, and then returned with two white pills a little bigger than the ones I took earlier.

"Take these, and drink all of this," he instructed, and handed me a bottle of water.

"What are they?" I asked, removing them from his hand. He sat down next to me and I slowly attempted to shove myself up to lean against the pillows behind me. When he realized what I was struggling for, he lifted me into my desired position with ease.

"They're just antibiotics, but they're going to put you to sleep."

"Oh great, let's just waste all of our alone time," I said, disappointed.

"I know, Bella, but this is why you're here. You need to get healthy again." I swallowed the pills and cuddled with the comforter.

"I'm pleasantly surprised with your attitude, you know." I looked up at his astonishingly chiseled face and took another swig of water.

"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," I laughed. "Usually by now in less severe situations you'd have me in the emergency room."

"Well lucky for you, the doctor from the emergency room lives here, so it's unnecessary." I just smiled. I snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his stone arms around me as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next day on the couch. I took in my surroundings and was uninformed on how I ended up in this position.

"Edward?" I called to the empty living room. Suddenly from behind the couch, a sock puppet that resembled Edward popped up by my head. It had stringy red hair and gold button eyes.

"Oh, my darling Bella," it began speaking in quite a high voice, "I hope that you're doing well, my dear. I've awaited your awakening for so long now! I thought I might die with anticipation if you didn't wake up soon, for how I've missed you! But alas; I am creepy and watch you sleep, so I was fully entertained by my sexual thoughts!"

"…. Em… Emmett?" I said sleepily.

"No, Bella! How dare you think me someone else! It's your dear Eddie boy, the one that you pledge your love to a thousand times a day so totally and completely! Now kiss me, you fool!"

The sock punched me lightly on the mouth and was attempting to shove itself through my lips. I couldn't shove the rock hard hand away from my face, and it was getting difficult to keep my mouth closed tightly.

"Emmett, get away from her!" Edward growled, making his way into the house. "Jesus, you're such a creep sometimes." Emmett revealed himself and shook his finger on his free hand at Edward.

"Edward, please do not refer to such blasphemy in this house. Jesus is not a creep." Edward rolled his eyes and shoved him out of the way to come sit next to me. I swung my legs up under me and wrapped the blanket around my shoulders.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I went for a quick hunting trip and told Emmett to keep an eye on you. I thought he'd just watch television or something." I laughed.

"It's okay. Except for the part where he made me kiss his sock…" I gagged in Emmett's direction. He had moved to the chair next to us with the puppet still on his hand sitting straight up in the air and watching television with it.

I had another violent coughing attack.

"Bells, are you sure you're okay?" Emmett asked. He was serious, but he made the hand puppet move its mouth along with his words. I laughed.

"I'm okay, I think."

Edward pulled me closer to him, resting my head on his chest and wrapping his arms around my waist. Emmett sang along with the 'Free credit report dot com' commercial, and I shook my head.

"That is ridiculous that you know that entire song, Emmett."

"I know all of them," he replied, wryly.

"You watch way too much television." He just shrugged.

"I suggest we watch a movie." Emmett said after a few minutes of silence. "I just got 'Sweeney Todd…'"

"I'm down. I haven't seen it yet." I replied.

"So Strepto_coccal_ sore throat, huh? Did you get that because Edward's _coccal_ was down your thro-"

"EMMETT!" Edward yelled, silencing him. I was horrified, and Emmett was doubled over with laughter while attempting to put the movie in the DVD player.

"Does this movie make you hungry, like when I watch the Food Network?" I jokingly asked Edward after Johnny Depp killed his first victim. He just laughed.

"No, it doesn't work like that-" I had another violent coughing fit, interrupting him.

"Bella, I don't like this. I'm going to have Carlisle do a further examination on you."

"Edward, please. I'm fine. I'm just a little sick."

Of course I lost the argument, and Carlisle did his check up. After looking down my throat and listening to my heart for the third time, he looked up at me.

"Your strep has developed into tonsillitis." I groaned.

"I knew the back of my throat felt unnecessarily large."

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**Author's Note:** I've never had my tonsils taken out, so I don't know how it works. You probably wouldn't cough as a sign… But whatever. It's fiction. ;) Leave me love.


	2. Tonsillitis

**Author's Note:** I just want everyone to know that I've actually gagged on more than one occasion while researching tonsillectomy for this story. There are some pretty disgusting side effects if you're an adult and you need your tonsils removed…

*Also, I went way overboard with Emmett in this chapter, but he's just so much fun to write.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own "Twilight".

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"Go finish your movie, kids. Edward, please get Bella packed. He turned to me. "Bella, I'll go ahead and make the appointment for your tonsillectomy. We probably won't be able to get you on the operating table before tomorrow, but we'll need to get you in a room tonight." I groaned. Of course I'd have to wait a whole day. Anticipating an operation doesn't keep one composed, no matter how uncomplicated it is. On top of that, I despised hospitals, and I didn't want to spend more time than necessary there, especially overnight. Emmett sauntered into the room as Carlisle was speaking. He still had sock-puppet-Edward on his left hand.

"Bella, if you want them out sooner, I can just do it for you." Emmett held a pair of scissors in his right hand, opening and closing them so rapidly it just looked like a blur. Then he moved the scissors to his left hand, into the mouth of the sock puppet. "Of course, Eddie could always do it... It might feel right to have him down your thro-"

"EMMETT," Edward silenced him, "please." Emmett winked at me and walked into the other room.

"Come on, bitches! I'm ready to see Sweeney hack up some more meat pies!"

"That is disturbing," I said to Edward as he helped me hop down from the table that Carlisle was examining me on.

As we walked back into the family room, Jasper came home.

"Whaddup, Jazzter?" Emmett stuck his fist out and Jasper pounded it.

"I thought you were with the girls?" I asked, confused. We didn't expect him home for another three days, as they took an extended hunting trip. It was supposed to be a girl's outing, but Jasper insisted on going because he couldn't stand to be away from Alice.

"They kicked me out. And they kept eating all of the good animals. I got to eat a _bird_."

"Was it turkey? God I love turkey," Emmett said enthusiastically, sitting down.

"You are a turkey," I replied. He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Those girls are ruthless when they don't get what they want," Edward said, shaking his head. I imagined Jasper was probably replaying his experience to Edward through his mind. "We're about to finish Sweeney Todd. Would you like to join us?" Edward offered to him while leading me over to the couch.

"I'm good. I just wanted to stop home and grab a couple things, then I'm going back out." He walked up the stairs and Emmett started the movie where we left off.

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Getting to the hospital was a pain. I started coughing up little white balls, which Carlisle referred to as tonsil stones, and every time one came out of my mouth Edward became more and more distressed. Apparently the whole time he'd been keeping cool, it was for my sake. He didn't want to stress me out because I was ill but on the inside he was itching to rip his hair out with frustration. He didn't know how to help me except to wait for my bad health to pass and that wasn't sufficient for him. I tried to assure him that I was all right, but all it did was push him to try and convince Carlisle to do the surgery sooner. Finally, Carlisle told Edward if he didn't get out of his face, (not necessarily in those words,) then he was kicking him out of the hospital until my surgery was over.

Much to my delight, Edward calmed down and just sat with me in my room. Deep down I knew that Carlisle was probably bluffing, but if Edward were gone, I'd probably be ripping my own hair out.

My father, along with Edward, was also freaking out and tried to insist on staying the evening with me in the hospital. I finally convinced him to stay at home and get rest and that tomorrow he could accompany me after my surgery, as that's the time that he'd be the most useful. If he came that night, he'd just be breaking his back attempting to sleep in a chair for nothing.

Emmett was having way too much fun in the hospital. He rolled into my room on a wheelchair balanced on the back two wheels with my dinner on his lap.

"Isn't the nurse supposed to bring me that?" I eyed him speculatively.

"I convinced her to let me bring it," he said with overconfidence.

"How'd you that?" I knew I'd regret my question right after I asked it.

"I told her I was your father."

"Oh God." Edward shot him a horrified look.

"And then I seduced her into giving it to me."

" Of course you did," I sighed. " Well. I'm telling Rose," I simply replied.

"What?! WHY?!"

"Did you put something in Bella's food, Emmett? If you're going to play a trick on Bella, could you at least do it a little less dangerously?" Apparently Emmett's thoughts slipped and Edward knew his plan.

"What?! It's barely enough morphine to put her to sleep. I was just gonna make her a little loopy."

"I swear to God, Emmett, one of these days..."

"What are you gonna do, brother? I got a wrestling match right here, just waiting for you. See these muscles?" Emmett insisted on lifting his sleeves to show us. I rolled my eyes. "You see this?" He rolled backward into my closet and jumped out of the wheelchair, grabbing onto the horizontal pole that was supposed to hold clothes. After kicking the wheelchair into the hallway, he proceeded to do chin-ups. "I got some of this, right here, just waiting. Bring it."

"I'm good, Emmett. We're in a hospital."

"You never used to say no," he grumbled, and then hopped down. "You guys are boring. I'm gonna go talk to that old guy in 217 again."

"Emmett, please don't give mister Ingrish another heart attack," Edward called after him.

"Whatevs," Emmett yelled back, and made his way down the hall.

At about eleven thirty, I began to drift off to sleep, and another round of Emmett came barreling into my room. He jumped onto my bed causing it to shake violently and reached over me to where Edward was sitting in order to snatch the remote from him and turn the television from the history channel to VH1.

"Emmett, we were watching that," Edward said, offended.

"No, you were putting Bella to sleep with that. And I have to see who goes home on Rock of Love."

"You have got to be kidding me." Edward covered his face with his hands and Emmett put his arm around me and pushed me closer to him.

"You're gonna love this show, Bells," Emmett pointed at the television with his remote. "Much better than whale habitats."

After thirty minutes of catfights, breast implants and crazy girls stealing sweaty socks, luckily for me the nurse came in and gave me medicine that would help me fall asleep. Edward borrowed one of the books that I brought and occupied himself that way.

I was scheduled for my surgery at ten AM. Originally it was at noon, but Edward successfully agitated Carlisle into pushing some other things around in order to get it over with. I was actually quite happy; I didn't wake up until nine thirty and I was immediately put on more painkillers, so I went right back to sleep.  
I woke up about three hours later and the room was spinning.

Emmett was standing over me, of course.

I ignored him and searched for Edward. He was at my side in an instant and holding my hand.

"'Bout time, sicko. I thought you were never going to wake up," Emmett said harshly. I ignored him.

"How are you feeling, darling?"

"Okay." My voice was still scratchy and it hurt to talk.

"Good. Carlisle says that I can take you home in about an hour, after he checks on you to see how you're doing. You need to rest your voice as much as possible," he replied.

"You get to eat tons of ice cream." Emmett added.

"No, actually she doesn't. She needs to stay away from dairy. It will cause a build up in phlegm and most likely hinder the healing process," Edward replied. Emmett mocked him unrecognizably in a high voice. "Popsicles are okay, and you'll be all right in about ten days." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Bella, I have created a get well video for you." Emmett said proudly.

"Prepare yourself." Edward whispered as he gently lay down next to me in my bed. I pushed myself upright and leaned against my pillow as Emmett hooked up his video camera. There were a few seconds of black, and then I recognized the chairs in my room turned inward and covered with hospital room blankets…. And naturally, out popped sock-puppet-Edward and… could it be? Sock-puppet-Bella.

Mine had brown buttons that I recognized from the jacket that I wore here, and colored on brown hair. Edward's puppet was upgraded; it now had glitter all over it. The camera was angled so that you could see the sun shine in the corner.

"Oh my love, my Bella-" the high voice began, "what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Bella is the sun! Does my Shakespeare turn you on?"

"Oh yes, Edward," an even higher voice began, "I want your hot rocky vampire body so bad."

"How'd you get your voice that high, Emmett?" I asked with a laugh. He just shushed me.

"Oh Bella, I want your clumsy, hot human body too, but I'm too big of a chicken. I could never man up like Emmett and put you in the double kangaroo scissor kick like he does to Rosalie every night. I've decided to be a virgin forever!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Puppet-Bella yelled, and began melting into the blanket. "I'm dying of sexual frustration, Eddieeeee! Please, do something!!"

"Oh, sweet Bella, I'll use the excuse that I'm afraid I'll hurt you, but really I'm just a big wannabe Emmett wanker and I know I'll never live up to your expectations in bed, so I can't!"

"Edward, I'm melting into a sexual oblivioooooooon!" Emmett's Bella-puppet voice faded off as the puppet fell to the floor. Puppet-Edward dipped down and picked up a knife with his mouth and recited Juliet's last words in 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die." And thus, Emmett attempted to stab his own hand with a butter knife. As soon the television screen went blank, Emmett's guffaw filled the whole hospital. When it died down, Edward looked over at Emmett.

"You know that those were Juliet's lines, don't you?"

"Uh, yeah. That was the best part. You're a woman!"

"Right." Edward nodded and Charlie walked into the room.

"CHARLIE! You gotta see this."

"NO!" Edward yelled. I attempted to, but my voice cracked. Edward snatched the remote from him.

"No more puppets, Emmett. I'm begging you." I whispered.

"That's cool. I'll begin my better quality movie about Alice and Jasper tomorrow. '_Oh no, Alice! I've lost you in this bundle of clothes! You're just so tiny…'_"

**End story.**

**Author's Note:** So… Silly, and overboard, like I said. You may not think it was funny, but that's okay, because I enjoyed writing it. Also, I want everyone to know that someone _actually_ stole everyone else's sweaty socks on an episode of 'Rock of Love'. (So sad I know that... But the show is so addicting.) Leave me some love. :D


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